Do whatever i can, at least to prevent things from getting worse

Broke down again last night. Tears just flowed out like never-ending stream water. Worse still, i had to pretend I was not crying when talked to mum and dad on phone.

Don't know why i have such high production of tears. To wash away my fears? To wash away my stress?

Just read this from a friend's blog:

"We should always try our best to give our best shot in everything in our life.

However, if some problems stop thing from going smoothly, we should still do our best even the outcome might not be the best.

If the situation is really really bad, we can at least still do whatever we can to prevent thing from getting worse."

Will do my best.

Quote a line by Sun Yat Sen, the Father of Modern China
心信其可行，则移山填海之难，终有成功之日；心信其不可行，则反掌折枝之易，亦无收效之期。

deadlines

1 assignment due today! And i still have the last part to finish! That's not good!

Another assignment supposed to due tomorrow. Luckily it got extended till coming Monday. Will try to finish it by Sunday evening.

One assignment due next Friday, and another on the following Tuesday.

Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines!!!

This blog is still pretty negative. I use it as my channel of releasing all the negative thoughts and stress, which i don't know how to express it by talking or chatting with people. More of the inner side of me, i guess.

Will try to make it more positive. Because i want to be more positive in my life.

昨天，心情超低落。
今天，好了很多。

是时候了
该爬起来了
继续往前走吧

虽然
真得很累
虽然
很想放弃

不过
如果放弃的话
很不负责任

放弃的念头
真得很强
会让自己越来越悲观

不会的
我不会被这个悲观的力量打倒
我会加油
虽然累
但我不会放弃

只是有时候
很希望
有人为我加加油
帮我打打气
而不是一脚把我踩下去

想要踩我的人
你们看着吧
我不会被你们踩扁的


这个星期
两份作业要交
一份还没写好
一份还没开始
糟
要猛踩油，加把劲了！

感觉自己疯了。想要自杀的念头不时浮现。知道这样很傻，但自己真得喘不过气。

很想放弃，很想放弃。真的。

感觉自己被孤立。不能怪他，因为真的不是他的错。是我自己没法保持乐观的想法， 是自己在逃避。

我知道，放弃的话，不值得， 也会伤很多人。

但

我很累，真得很累。。。

我知道，我应该要挣扎，应该要继续努力，应该要站起来。

可是

以我现在的力量，我能撑多久？

One quarter of the year has passed.
How time flies.

Thinking of my own future now.
Should i get into Honours year, or should i join the working force?
Do i have the financial ability to get into Honours?
If not..
Do i have the qualities and things wanted in the work force?

Thinking.. thinking.. thinking..

Mid Semester Break

I'm back in Brissy, and it's already mid-sem break now!!

What a busy and hectic semester, i would say. Taking only 3 courses, but it's draining my energy already! Mid-sem break is not a break for me at all. With three essays to hand in in around a month's time, or slightly more than one month. Tonnes of journals to read, and analyse, and come out with my own essay on the selected topics. That's not all. I still have other assignments and presentation.

And only if studies are the only thing that i need to worry about, how nice would it be..

I need to work harder! Gambate!!